Making New Year Resolutions or Go with the Flow?

This is one of the key questions most ask – Make new year resolutions or simply go with the flow? It’s almost as if asking – to be or not to be?

In my experience, most of the people are at each extreme. There are some who swear by making new year resolutions and then there are those at the opposite end – No resolutions, just go with the flow. I recently interacted with people in both the categories to understand their choices. Both the categories have a rationale behind their choice and face different challenges. I present the findings here:

Category 1: People who love making New Year Resolutions:

Making new year resolutions is exciting
A New Year is a Fresh Canvas - Let's write a New Story

For these people, making new year resolutions gives them renewed hope & faith in their goals. They use the new years’ time to start fresh with a clean slate. They treat a new year as a blank canvas and want to write a new story. It fills them up with a sense of purpose. Making resolutions facilitates them clarity about their priorities. It creates that feeling of “perfect life” for them.

Challenges these people face:

  1. The resolutions start to become overwhelming within 15 days of new year.
  2. The enthusiasm to stick to new year resolutions starts fading away.
  3. One day break can lead to the feeling of being a failure and one can give up on the resolutions completely.
  4. They are not able to handle situations which are not conducive to their resolutions or in other words they lack the capacity to go with the flow.

Category 2: People who love to Go with the Flow:

Going with the Flow
For those who go with the Flow - their resolution is not to make any resolutions

For these people, making new year resolutions feels restrictive. Many of them have perhaps failed on numerous occasions in sticking to their resolutions and as a result have concluded that making resolutions is a futile activity. The idea of going with the flow appeals to them as it gives them a sense of complete freedom. Going with the flow protects them from that feeling of failure one feels when one is not able to follow through with a resolution. It allows them to attend to new opportunities that come their way with an open mind and without any pressure.

Challenges these people face:

  1. Going with the flow at times creates a trap of procrastination as one can simply keep postponing things.
  2. They miss a sense of purpose.
  3. They lack the feeling of achievement that one gets with fulfilling a resolution (The “tick/check mark"feeling!)
  4. They fail to prioritize and often find their plates full (beyond their capacity).

They key commonality however is that both sets of people want to have a fulfilled new year (who doesn’t?) Both wish to learn the balance of making new year resolutions and going with the flow.

In my chat with coach Janat Bva on 1st January 2019, we discovered how making resolutions and going with the flow are not mutually exclusive but rather can combine very well to make us feel at ease every single day. 

Here are our findings on how to stick to new year resolutions, go with the flow and not procrastinate:

#1 Treat resolutions as direction instead of a to-do list. Resolutions will then give direction to life.

#2 Introduce direction in every moment by being present to it.

#3 Have “self-care” as a core resolution. This will allow you to acknowledge what is truly coming up for you on a particular day.

#4 Going with the flow is NOT giving up but it is about being truly present to what is coming up for you.

#5 Finding your breath without manipulating the pace of breathing is a starting point to observe who you are in that moment. If you are breathing shallow it’s OK, if you are breathing deep it’s OK, if you are breathing heavy it’s OK, if you are belly breathing it’s OK – The first job is to recognize your breath and acknowledge who you are in that moment. Be with you for 5 minutes and then ask yourself “What is my best next direction?” – Follow that.

 

Here is wishing everyone a very happy new year!